Life in stills
by unleashasha
Summary: Have you ever wondered why life changes constantly, What are God's intentions in our life? Why people move on? Why people forget? But more importantly why do I stuck here? why can't just time stops here with me?
1. Chapter 1

Have you ever wondered why life changes constantly  
What are God's intentions in our life?  
Why do people had to have new jobs, new friends, new house, new interests, new hobbies?  
Why people move on?  
Why people forget?  
Why do people have to love each other so much only to be separated and acted like strangers.  
But more importantly why do I stuck here? why can't just time stops here with me?

* * *

June 2007

It was the last day of school before summer break, the kids scrambled around school as the final bell rang. I gathered my things after the awfully boring English class, excited and giddy because I have made some plans with Edward today. We're going to sneak out tonight to the La push beach. Edward said he wanted to capture the milky way with his brand new camera that Esme has given to him for his 18th Birthday last week. It was his new favorite obsession. He took pictures everywhere, and everything, including me. I know he's sneaky but I caught him snapped some pictures of me when he thought I didn't notice.

"Bella!" I heard his voice and right after I turned my head, a flash went off. There he go again, took pictures of me without my consent. I secretly loved it though, it means he noticed me and that makes my heartbeat flutters, just like when he kissed me the first time.  
I pouted when I saw his tall form loomed over me and snapped some more pictures, this time no flashlight but too close for my comfort.

"Oh stop pouting baby" He hung his camera over his neck and extended his long fingers to my lips easing my pout

"You could've warned me you know?"

"Now where's the fun in that, besides you look beautiful in every angle.. even when you pout.. um wait let me take a picture of you pouting one more time?"

He raised his camera to me again this time I covered the lens with my hand. I wasn't a fan of being photographed, I mean I'm just plain old Bella Swan, nothing interested people can found in me. I have long brown hair, brown eyes with a thick rimmed glasses, and average body, my boobs are small and I dressed like a hobo (that's what Angela, my partner in Spanish class have told me). Really sometimes I wondered what has this beautiful boy seen in me

"No more pictures. I bet you have dozens picture of me in your laptop already"

"That I do baby" He laughed mischievously. This is one of the things that I love about him, he's never been shy to acknowledge his fondness of me even in public, He had this twinkle in his eyes every time he jokes around me. It makes his emerald green eyes shines brighter. It was like I could see through his soul and everything in him is beautiful. I sighed

"Edward, are we still on for tonight?" I asked softly not wanting to get my hopes up but a secret night out alone with him is what I've been waiting for a long time.

We didn't have much time alone because school and his dozens of extracurricular activities. Luckily being a good boyfriend he was. He always had time for me, even for just a few hours after school or over the weekends. We've been sneaking around because his parents hated me. I couldn't come over after school like any other girlfriends because for whatever reasons his parents loathed me ever since he introduced me to them last year.

It's been a cat and mouse game

He took my hand and we walked to the parking lot together. Once I got to my beat up orange truck, he stroked my cheek and then he kissed me sweetly on the lips

"10 pm love, don't forget to wear a jacket okay and don't fall asleep on me!"

"I won't, it's a good thing Charlie's on the night shift"

"You mean I don't have to throw pebbles at your window?! I can go walk to your front door?" He joked

"I'd rather have you text me and I'll be right down so we don't draw a lot of attentions. My neighbor is kinda nosy"

I played with his shirt, I didn't know why but it seems like I always turned into a nervous girl every time he nears me, even after 2 years knowing him it didn't change his effect on me. He mesmerized me (and the half female population at school) and he knew it. I still didn't know why he chose me but I'm in love with him and I was going to tell him tonight

"I'll see you then baby, drive safely okay?" He kissed me again one more time and turned to go to his shiny new Volvo his Dad has given him. Just when I turned the key into the ignition he called over from across the parking lot

"BELLA!" I looked around then he snapped a picture of me again. At this point it was borderline annoying but then he shouted "I see you tonight baby!" which I'm sure people in parking lot have heard it. It makes me blush and I ducked my head in embarrassment and get out of the parking lot, anxious about tonight.

God I love him

* * *

Hello this is my first time writing a fanfiction, I can't seems to get it out of my head so I decided to write it down. I'm not an English speaking person so I'm sorry if there were any grammatical error, I don't have a beta. This fic will be have a little flashback in the beginning before we continue to the present time. Please be patient with me.. :3

Thanks for reading.

- Sasha


	2. Chapter 2

It's 10 minutes to 10 and I couldn't help fidgeting. What makes tonight more special than any other night I've spent with him? probably because I was going to confess my love to him. I wasn't sure what his reactions would be. I hope he won't be running away screaming, that would be awful.

The text came and I saw his car parked in front of my little house. I hurried down the stairs and checked my appearance one last time, a jacket, jeans, and a beanie in case it gets cold out there

He came out of the car and stood beside his car, smiling. He also wore the navy jacket he loves so much, I swear he sleeps with it.  
"Hey you, been waiting long?" he extended his hand and took mine while his other hand opened the passenger door for me "Buckle up" he kissed my forehead and hurried to the other side of the car.

Before long, we were in the highway with Morrissey playing in the car softly, it's one of his "obsession" sometimes he would talk animatedly when we discussed Morrissey, he's such a fanboy.

"We're lucky it's a warm clear night, I hope we get a good shot today" he beamed at me, he looked like a kid in a candy store. Giddy and excited. Inside my stomach churn from worry but I kept it at bay although it seemed the man sees right through me.  
He noticed I wasn't talking much.

"What's wrong? are you sick? you are very quiet" His brows furrowed

"I'm fine Edward, I'm just excited about tonight" I smiled and he smiled back at me looking relieved. I must not screw over tonight

We arrived at the lonely beach of La Push, it was warm, a little windy but there were some clouds over shadowed the sky.

"Looks like we have to wait a little bit til the clouds clear up" He grimaced, but then he opened the car and pulled a blanket, and extended his hand "Come here baby, let's cuddle"

I took his hand and we laid down together on the blanket, the beach was dark with no lights on but the stars and the moon seemed brighter tonight. He pulled me closer to him "What's got you thinking so hard?"

"Do you remember the first time we met?"

"You mean when you dropped a bowl of hot soup over principal Meyer's leg" He laughed

"It was an accident and you know it. But you helped me cleaned it up, you didn't even know me. Why is that?" I looked at him and he smiled knowingly

He tightened his grip on me "Well I saw this beautiful timid girl who worked so hard for the spring fair and I can't help but noticed her. You know I snapped a picture of you dropping that bowl. It still successfully cracked me up whenever I looked at it"

"No way! you have to erase it.. God I must have looked like an idiot"

"You were cute baby, why don't you believe me every time I say you are?"

"I'm just a plain girl, Edward.. I have no idea what you see in me" I looked away from him but he took my chin with his fingers and made me look at him

"Hey hey,.. look at me..what I see in you is this beautiful smart girl, with heart so kind, smiles so bright, it lights up my day everytime I see you. Pictures never lied bella, and if you see those pictures of you, you will realized just how beautiful you are"

His words made teared up, "Hey why the tears baby? do I upset you?" he seemed panicked for a while and that's when I decided it's all or nothing

"Edward I love you" I blurted out, I stared up at him with determination, but his facial expression wasn't what I expected.

His mouth opened in half like he was trying to find a word but failed.

"We are 18" He blurted out.

"Edward I just said I love you, and that's your answer?"

"You caught me off guard Bella.. I..just..."

"Look you didn't have to say it back to me, I just want you to know" Suddenly I feel naked, embarrassed, and confused. With the way he described me before I was pretty sure I was going to good response out of my confession.. but this is horrible.

He stood up from the blanket and looked to the ocean "Actually I brought you here to talk about something"

Oh God he was going to break up with me.. I should have trusted my feelings, this is why I've been worried all day. Without realizing it, tears were streaming down my face. He looked over me and quickly scooped me in a tight hug

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry.. I'm sorry" He wiped my tears with his hands

But he still didn't say he loved me back, which is something "What did you want to talk about?"

I tried to looked tough even all I wanted right there was to the ground to swallow me alive, He took my hand and together we sat on the hood of his car

"Remember about the trip I took to Yellowstone with Dad? I took some really good photos out there"

I hummed in response, my mind wasn't in the right place anymore.. I just wanted the night to get over with. He grimaced when he looked at me but he continued "I submitted some of them to the National Geographic and it turned out I won the Young photographer award!" He tried to appear excited but I could sense there's more to it.

"I got the free scholarship to Yale University, for Fine Arts and some cash"

"Oh my God, I'm so happy for you! You deserved it! I know you're gonna be great, why you didn't tell me sooner?" I hugged him

"Well I wanted to make a special occasion out of it but you kinda steal my thunder" He chuckled, he tried to joke but there's an edge of his voice.

"I'm sorry if I had known.."

"No it's okay.. listen the thing is.. I wanted to go abroad to expand my horizon. I have a year before I start school so after graduation I was thinking to go on a trip around the world with the money I won.. my parents approved, so I just need to tell you about it"

Of course his parents approved, they have never liked me before. This is their chance to make their son stay away from me, the little nobody from Forks. of fucking course

"When will you leave?" My voice cracked up, he looked away from me and to the ocean once more

"Next month" He whispered

"What.. next. what about graduation?"

"My parents will take care of it, we've finished the GED anyway so graduation ceremony isn't really necessary" He shrugged, he looked indifferent, all I see in his face was a blank mask. It's not the Edward I know.. He always been very expressive, sad, annoyed, happy.. but this blank Edward, I've never seen before

"What about our plans?!" I yelled, my tears has long forgotten.. suddenly I felt rage, a hot boiling rage.. we had plans we were supposed to go to UCLA together, rent a small apartment for the both of us, getting tanned on the beach in California, get a shitty part time jobs to cover the rents, we have talked about it over and over. So all this time he was giving me false hope. How dare he!

"I'm sorry Bella, it's just something I've been thinking about a lot.. and I didn't know how to tell you.. believe me it's for the best"

"You're breaking up with me" It's not a question, more like a statement

"I'm sorry" he looked back at me.. this time I saw a hint of pained expression on his face "It's better this way"

"Better for you? or for us?! wow I've made such a fool of myself today.. I've bared my soul to you and you dumped me, and I just found out you're leaving in such a short time. I never knew you had it in you"

"I'm sorry" It's all he said, he didn't give me anymore explanations, we stayed quiet for a while until I couldn't stand the silence anymore.

"Take me home Edward"

He nodded and we got into the car in silent. The one hour drive back to Forks was the longest time in my life. I just wanted to go to sleep and forgot tonight ever happened.

We've arrived at my house and I quickly get out of the car.. but he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his embrace and kissed me... it was a kiss of desperation, a goodbye kiss. I could feel the tears started to rolling down my cheeks again.

"I'm sorry Bella.. we're just so young.. so young" He whispered after he let me go.

"Goodbye Edward" I ran out of the car into my house. I could hear the sound of his car retreating from my house. I cried and cried after I got into my bedroom. Screw him, he just broke my heart. Never Again

That was the last time I spoke with Edward Cullen

* * *

Not Beta sorry for grammatical errors.


End file.
